When men were men, and trolls were hairy.

 I yearn for the days when one knew what was what and who was who. Princes were on horses. Princesses were beautiful. Stepmothers were cruel. You know - the usual plot lines. Today it’s not so easy. Princes are in helicopters, Princesses don’t want to be stereotyped by archaic genders and stepmothers – well, let’s just say some things don’t change.

Let’s go back a century or two where, after a long summer of pillaging, Scandinavian types had nothing better to do during the long, cold nights than terrify their children with stories of trolls who lived on isolated rocks, in caves or on mountains. A fact, which to me, explains their testiness. I’m sure that if they’d been allowed to mingle with the town folk next to a toasty fire, they would have been a bit more amenable and less likely to eat the children.

Fast forward to ‘once upon a time’ when, instead of toll roads, they had troll roads with the obligatory troll who lived under a bridge. These hirsute beasts, instead of issuing speeding fines, delighted in giving goats a bad time and just generally getting a bad rap.

In modern literature Tolkein, gave us a whole bunch of Stone, Two-Headed, Hill, Cave, Mountain and Snow trolls and I’m sure Harry Potter had some run ins with one or two at Hogwarts.   My point is that you knew they were big, ugly, hairy and had designs on your intestines.

Today, not so much.

I discovered that there’s a new breed of troll – the electronic troll or e-troll. This type is even more insidious because, literally they can be anyone. Male, female, young, old. You, maybe? I ran into them when I ‘Liked’ NASA on Facebook because I love reading about space and stuff (when will they make Elon Musk president of the universe?).

Well, blow me down and call me Mable if every post about Saturn, Mars, a new double-headed nebula or bigger, blacker hole didn’t elicit a barrage of ‘NASA lies’, ‘stop using CGI’, ‘space is fake’ tirades. These are, of course, interspersed with the odd ‘Jesus saves’ sermons.

Now I really don’t give a rat’s backside whether you believe that the earth is flat or that Jesus does save (I hope he does, especially in this economy), but why, oh why, do you follow these pages if you think they are a crock?

The short answer is that they are trolls, who instead of getting on with life sit around on rocks, on mountains or in Benoni trawling through pages with the sole aim of being a dipwit.  I suppose it is a troll’s right, but surely they should have their own Facebook page where they could spend the day loving or hating God; denying space; confirming or denying climate change to their hearts’ content?

I wish we could banish them to isolated rocks, caves or mountains, which would really give them something to bitch and moan about, but we can’t. Something to do with freedom of speech.