I must admit that when I started this training, I never realised that there would be so many hazards. Sore muscles, sure, but not actual pain. As a gift to mankind, I have jotted some of them down so any potential swimmers out there will be well prepared for the dangers.
Chlorine eyes: Chlorine's atomic number is 17 and I think it's the pain rating (out of 20) referring to the moment of impact when Cl comes into contact with your cornea. To prevent this goggles can be worn. The downfalls fogging and a look I like to refer to as 'surprised raccoon with hyperthyroidism' when you take them off. Kinda cute on Cameron vd Bergh because you're mostly just looking at his six-pack. Not so great on ladies of a certain age with bat wings.
Swimmer's ear: Why is it always in one ear? It's irritating and painful and no amount of hopping around like a deranged flamingo gets the water out. Can be remedied with earplugs underneath the grippy glue cap. The downside is you can hear your thighs rubbing together.
Water in your mouth when you're doing backstroke: With a level of accuracy superseded only by an ICBM, the water that drips off your fingers as you reach up falls directly onto your uvula. Not only is it disconcerting but you tend to make unattractive 'grrking' noises which makes other swimmers think they are swimming next to a menopausal walrus. I'm sure there's a technique that avoids it, but I fear I may be beyond learning it. The other problem is slowing down. The water shoots over your chin and into your mouth. More grrking noises ensue and, in severe case, one is forced to stop and expel water through the nose. Not recommended on a first date.
Sore insteps: I sure this is not something you would normally associate with swimming (or any exercise except ballet) but I swear my insteps were inflamed after excess breast stroke this weekend.
Prune fingers: Not really a danger to your health so much as a drawback when it comes to gripping onto your water bottle. Or the hairy guy in the Speedo next to you.
Thank you. I'll have some cheese with this whine.
