Dog Mail

Dogs.

They say that the sniffing is like them going to the post to get mail - more often than not in their case, tree mail.  If that is the case, what are the messages they are receiving?
Sniff, sniff - poor Roger - high uric acid again I see.
Sniff, sniff - that Pebbles and her gall stones.
Sniff, sniff - crikey - Buster needs to see a vet.
Sniff, sniff - I can't believe that bitch Fifi is pregnant again!
Sniff, sniff - %$#@$% which idiot gave Monty asparagus?